Why My Husband's Heart Attack Was a Blessing in Disguise
Posted: Monday, January 04, 2010
by Nancy Daniels
Voice Dynamic
On November 30th, the Monday after the long Thanksgiving weekend, my husband called from work around 11 in the morning and told me he was coming home because he had pain in the center of his chest which was radiating up to his right shoulder. I wasn't concerned. Phil gets headaches, backaches, colds, and other ailments which seldom keep him from his job; thus, my first thought was that he had picked up the flu or some bug and was coming down with something.
After a brief period of time, Phil was moved into an ICU cubicle. Still we thought that it would be a short stay. It was now about 2:30 in the afternoon, and my husband had a 5:00 appointment with the chiropractor that day because he had pulled his back out over the weekend. So he asked me to call the chiropractor's office and see if we could push the appointment back by a couple of hours, believing he was going to walk out of Virtua Hospital, head to the chiropractor, and finally get some relief. Oddly enough, Phil's complaint in the hospital was about the unbearable pain in his back and not the minor discomfort in his chest!
And then it happened. An ER physician walked into our little enclave and promptly announced that Phil had had a mild heart attack and that he was going nowhere.
At 56 years of age, my husband was eerily quiet. The man was in disbelief. While we may have repeatedly discussed the fact that his job was going to kill him, the doctor's words did not make this news any less surprising. As he told me later, the gravity of the situation did not sink in until the following day when they transported him to another hospital up the road and laid him on the catheterization table.
My first thought was how we would survive financially? As the practical one in the family, I knew that the stress of his job had caused the heart attack (as well as a diet laden with too much fat and not enough exercise); and, I did not know how he could go back to a job in which he was overworked and underpaid. Still, in the 9 years he had been an operations manager with this particular company, he had never failed to make the impossible, possible. Somehow, in his thankless role, he had always managed to make 2 + 2 = 5!
There is much indecision as to his next step. Finding another job in his field at his age is near to impossible. And, applying for a job having just had a heart attack makes that proposition even less likely. Add to that today's high unemployment rate and the chances of finding a job suitable for his background and experience are questionable at best.
While the heart attack was actually a blessing in disguise, Phil will have to change his attitude about his job and how he handles the impossible if he is to survive. Because his company has now had 5 operations managers all in their 50's who have had heart attacks, they are fully aware that there are problems, even if they are unwilling to admit it.
While he has some very creative ideas about future endeavors, those ideas will unfortunately not pay the bills in the meantime. A man who has several interesting inventions as well as solid experience on the computer, from video-editing to his position as a top-rated forum guru in internet security, Phil is in a bind and only time and prayer will solve the problem. The eternal optimist, however, I believe that my husband's heart attack was God's way to push him to put his extraordinary talents to good use so that he can finally realize his dream.
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More commentsHi Nancy, an excellent story eventhough it has some reasons to be sorry. You are facing it well indeed. You should not determine that Phil is too old to find a different position if it should be needed. A company I was with when I was 59, moved to Mexico. Fortunately, I was given time to lookbefore they moved out and I secured the best job with the best company, I had ever had.I worked with them until I was 67 when I retired. I even had to have heart surgery while with them and I was out only $600. for the entireprocess of three angioplasties and one bypass surgery. I wish for you and him, the very best.Wow, Joel, you are an inspiration. Unfortunately, my husband is unable to even 'shop' around because everyone in his business knows everyone else in the business. Hopefully he will be able to move in a different direction.Thanks for sharing,
Now this was a good article to say the least! Touching. Five heart attacks for five different operations managers? Who's running that company ship? As for me tragedies and or illnesses are the things that have made huge positive differences in my life (of course I did not want them but that's how it has turned out for me)--I hope that this DOES indeed turn out to be a blessing in disguise--Great luck for both of you.SteveSteve,Yes, 5 managers, 5 heart attacks. Probably why his company is not pushing him for a quick return! Thanks and yes, it already is a blessing.
Nancy, I hope your husband is recovering nicely and you get some direction on what to do next. Thanks for being transparent. I know your courage to share will help many.Lorrie,I must admit that I was in a dilemma as to how to handle this one. But, one of the blessings of SW is that so many writers speak from the heart and I felt like I was sharing this with friends. (I must admit to not having sent any Christmas cards this year which is a first; but, as I refuse to enclose 'form' letters, I knew I couldn't say briefly what had happened. I'd prefer to discuss this one over the phone.)Thanks for reading,
We always need to look to the good side of bad situations. I wish you and your family luck as you enter a new phase for your lives.Jami,I do try to find the good in bad times. Thanks
A difficult job is no fun, I can't imagine a heart attack getting piled on top of that stress. Good luck and best wishes!Dear Anonymous,I have been afraid that his stress was going to kill him. That is why this was a blessingl.
Clearly public health educators have a big job in front of them if neither this obviously bright and well-informed author nor her retired physician father recognized the symptoms in a 50+ year old male of "pain in the center of his chest which was radiating up to his right shoulder" as CALL 9-1-1 NOW worthy.May the author's faith be a guiding blessing both to her and her husband.Susan,Thank you for your comment but I don't think you got the entire picture here.1. As Phil said to me, if he hadn't pulled out his back that weekend -- he has a herniated disk -- he would have known immediately what was happening. He wrongly assumed that the pain from his lower back extending all the way up to his neck was the cause. In the hospital, the discomfort he was feeling in his chest could not compare to the pain he was feeling in his back, so much so that he was given percocet. [It was also interesting to learn in the hospital that chest pain radiating up to the right shoulder is often gall bladder whereas chest pain radiating up to the left shoulder is usually associated with the heart.]2. Because he has a tendancy to complain a lot about aches and pains, I was not that concerned.3. My father wanted our family doctor to do an EKG which is why he suggested calling him first.
A great piece - it must have been traumatic for both of you, and I hope you're right and that the nasty event leads to some positive consequences!Ben,Thanks for your support. Time will tell; oh, time will tell.
Hi Nancy.I too hope that your husband (and you) are doing well and that he is mending nicely (and not just physically).I also believe that sometimes bad things happen to prepare us to move on to newer and much better things. This has been the case in my own life. My mom always said that every dark cloud has a silver lining and I think that she was right.Peace, happiness and good health to you both,DianneDianne,Your mother was right. I do believe that it will lead to better, more rewarding things. Thank you,
I wish you both well for the future.Sometimes serious illness or emotional trauma can seemingly trigger a search for one's true purpose in life. For some patients it is a call to look after themselves and can result in the person becoming healthier, despite the underlying heath issue.Ensure that he takes asprin and a cholesterol tablet, and keeps his BP well controlled.Carol,It has happened already. He has dropped some weight and is definitely eating healthier.Thank you for responding,
Heart attacks frequently occur from 4:00 A.M. to 10:00 A.M. due to higher adrenaline amounts released from the adrenal glands during the morning hours. Increased adrenaline in the bloodstream can contribute to the rupture of the plaque that causes the formation of the clot and the eventual heart attack.Studies have found that, at least in northern regions, heart attacks may occur more often in the winter months. Heart attacks do not usually happen during exercise, although exercise is commonly associated with exertional angina. Approximately one quarter of all heart attacks are silent, without chest pain. In diabetics, the incidence of "silent" heart attacks may be much higher.
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