Life is a Bowl of Raspberries -- And a Piece of Bittersweet
Posted: Saturday, January 23, 2010
by Nancy Daniels
Voice Dynamic
When my mother died 6 years ago, I was heading into the hospital about 6 in the morning to sit with her and to take care of her as well. Blind and with limited physical ability, my mom was the least complaining person I have ever known; but, I also knew that she was not getting the care she needed. Having a food tray thrown on her bed cart without the decency to even acknowledge their presence, the nurses gave her very little aid aid.
Physically fit, she exercised daily, swam in the summer months and loved to dive. When she could no longer distinguish the end of the diving board from the light blue of the water, she fitted a black rubber belt on the board's end to mark the contrast. And so, she dove. When she would swim alone, our Dachshund, Greta, would fun frantically around the pool, barking and watching out for her. Greta never barked at anyone else in the water however, only my mother. Often lying at the foot of the stairs, the dog would move out of the way when my mother descended. She never moved for anyone else. I am confident that this little Dachsie knew my mother was blind.
In the beginning, mom was able to see contrasts; therefore, a black and white TV gave her more contrast than a color TV set. [One of her great joys was watching ice skating on TV. She was able to distinguish the skaters from the ice in most cases. She actually met my father at a roller skating rink and would not have agreed to skate with him had his roller blades had not been scuffed she only wanted to skate with someone who had some ability.]
When she was 39, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a radical mastectomy. Taking the entire left breast by carving down to the bone and removing muscle from her left arm, the doctors informed her that she would never stand on her hands again. She replied, "You wanna bet?" So the night of her surgery, she began exercising her arm to rebuild its strength. Trust me, the woman stood on her hands again and was able to dive from the diving board in that position.
Three weeks after the surgery, mom modeled a 2-piece bathing suit in a fashion show sponsored by a women's club. She didn't need a support group to handle her disfigurement and she never complained. I believe that part of the reason for her stoicism was due to the incredible love and support of my dad. He was quite proud of the fact that he had discovered her cyst; and, it wasn't in a routine checkup or by means of a mammogram!
At the age of 62, my mother suffered a massive heart attack while washing the floor of the garage on her hands and knees. This was a garage used to house my father's car on a daily basis and here she was scrubbing the cement! (My mom's house was so clean that my dad said he would have eaten off the kitchen floor.) The doctors said that she survived the heart attack for one reason: her body was in excellent physical shape.
A year later she developed shingles in her midriff region and dealt with the pain of that nasty disease for the rest of her life. In addition, a botched heart operation at the University of Pennsylvania left her with chronic heart disease. Once again, she never complained (nor did she sue).
Through all her ailments, her pains, and her disabilities, my mom was optimistic, happy, very loving and generous. My parents traveled quite a bit and she saw the world through my dad's eyes. She craved chocolate and was known to eat a pint of raspberries in one sitting.
Most importantly, she knew that Jesus Christ was her Savior. She knew that she would be able to see again when she finally got to Heaven. And, she knew that Heaven would have to have raspberries and chocolate to seal the deal!
- - - - - - - - - -
Unaware that she was dead when I walked into her room that Saturday morning, I went to her side. There were two nurses at the foot of the bed and the room was dimly lit. I told them I was there to feed her, having completely missed the name tag on her toe.
As I looked down on her peaceful, beautiful face, it dawned on me that she wasn't asleep. I asked the nurses if my mom had died. They both nodded their heads in agreement. I am sure they were probably in complete shock to see me there since my father had been notified a little while earlier. I didn't have my cell phone with me at the time so I hadn't heard the news.
My mother's mouth was open, which is not uncommon when the kidneys have shut down; and, my first thought was, "Oh to have a raspberry and a piece of dark chocolate," as I tried unsuccessfully to close her mouth to no avail. Rigor mortis had set in. Blessed with a good sense of humor, my mom would have laughed at that one.
M. Jane Fister died on All Saints Day, Saturday, November 1, 2003, which I found most fitting. A dear Canadian friend sent me this photo of the northern lights taken that morning just outside of London, Ontario.
I am confident that mom saw those brilliant colors at the side of our Lord, while enjoying her raspberries and a piece of bittersweet chocolate to boot!
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Great story, great woman, great daughter! Thanks for sharing it with us.Jeff,Thank you for your kinds words. My mom was a great woman -- great mom, without a doubt.
Nancy, having my mom die at the young age of 39, 6 days before my 12th birthday, this story really hit home. My dad did a great job raising me. I, like your mother, know the lord is my savor, or I wouldn't be alive today. At the age of 30 I was put on a heart transplant list but I wouldn't let that stop me. Then at 33 I lost my dad. Now I am stronger than ever. Keep writing such inspirational articles, you are touching peoples hearts.Christy,I am sorry to hear about your mom, your dad, and your own difficulties. I do believe the Lord doesn't give us more that we can bear. You are an inspiration. Thank you,
Beautiful tribute, Nancy. Very well written and you brought your mother right into this reader's heart! MarijoMarijo,I am touched by your words. Thank you
Wonderful story about your mother. She was blessed to have a daughter like you and isn't it comforting to know that she knew the Lord. Thank you for sharing. Linda DYou are welcome Linda. No, I was blessed to have a mom like her. She was indeed special.Thank you
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